31st May, More uploaded

Hope you have a good laff at this batch! Thanks John (Godboy) for the Photo help I’ll be putting that up in the next few days!

China next…..

29th May,Reliving malia…

Had a really good night. Pretty relaxed day, spent the day on the beach not really in the sun as it was too hot. Ended up staying at the resort mainly at the bar and chatted to the staff again. Got some funny photos to stick up. The bar guy has won some competitions and is aparently number one in Boracay.

Have to give a huge thanks to Natalie for the Dollars as I had to use this to pay for my ‘chef special’ cocktails – didn’t have my cred card on me. But ended up getting completely wasted with interest from both sexes – Yep the staff at the resort are 98% gay. Did some midnight swimming and almost fell asleep in the sea.

Next morning it was that malia coach trip all over again – deep breathing/trying to burp – not good at all. I really must not learn not to drink if I know i’m going somewhere the next day!

27th May, do you want a drive?

Yep exactly that. Now the other resort staff are trying it on. I said maybe sunday. I think he meant all-terrain driving but who knows.

Bloody hell, now he’s calling my room. I asked if he was around the sunset bar at six thirty as I’m going to see the sunset.

On second thoughts maybe i need to learn to say no…

It pays to be gay, yep, again another gay resort staff gave me free drinks – well he extended happy hour and gave me a couple o free drinks a good half an hour late. Then when I went out for my meal I got chatting to another lot of wairtresses who gave me happy hour benefits (again half an hour later) for ‘having a nice smile’. Again the same old twenty questions… Didn’t really do much this evening I was feeling a little too drunk from the earlier freebies and just sat chatting to the waitresses at this other place and got persuaded to sample sangria at that tapas place…Ended up giving contact details to three different waitresses from diferrent bars but I am dubious as to wether they will get the _ – underscore on the email. Its a shame, as they all want to marry foreigners to get out of the country.

Korean is another ‘look’ to add to the repetoire along with japenese and canadian – I can blend in anywhere.

Luckily spotted the last shuttlke back and it was just the owners doing a drive by. Met the main man or ‘the Captain’ as they call himn and the manager of the resort his 23yr old son. I’m going to learn some chinese off him tommorow.

26th May, Horay, horay its holiday de jour time!

My good god, Made it to boracay after 13hrs and leaving at 0430. What a location. Came across by air and sea, to be greeted by champagne cocktails, as we (or just me) walk straight from the whitest and clearest water which I havn’t seen since cuba. Wearing a hotel branded robe I am watching the sun go down beer in hand on my balcony. So much for ‘chavelling’. I’d say its a four star and it aint bad for free!
I’ve checked out the prices – $200 a night pour me, only £5. I’m off to the beach to watch the last of the sundown… Mojito awaits…

Went to a local beach near my mum’s place, don’t want to slag it off but…

Oh yea I’m sure we ran over a rooster on the way, I felt its bones crush… Oh well, I remember last (‘93) time we ran over a dog – intestines an’ all, it wasn’t pretty.

0400am, I’m not gay!
Knackered. Funny evening, sort of. Was walking to the beach bar, and started chatting to the bar girl directing her how to make a bloody mary, then some other staff come by so I start chatting to them. Not knowing anything about the place or resort. In the end I find out he and some other staff are going out for a girls leaving do. Anywho, dropped my phone as I left the shuttle and the guy was going to text me which bar he and the others were.

I end up walking up and down convincing myself I’ve lost my phone and work out what I need to do bearing in mind I am tottally oblivious to whats going on, fairgrounds, bands, bars etc – think greece but less tacky more family orientated. End up forgetting about meeting that bloke, and go for a meal oviously on my own (went for Tapas). Get chatting to the waitresses well, they chat to me whilst i’m eating my meal literally, as I was pratically the only one there. They practically joined me whilst I ate asking the usual twenty questions. Finally got to leave as they all wanted me to marry them – they look about 15 but they assure me they are twenty…

On the way back bumped into that guy purely by chance and end up going to various beach clubs/bars with them. Wich was all good fun, took some photos – cant say I blended in though…

Then I found out they were all gay, the guys anyway. I didn’t take pictures. Imagine the scene, I am at one of the main beach clubs, loadsa of people around but as I was sat – I didn’t dare dance, in the middle of men dancing with each other. I wouldn’t mind but I was surrounded and the girls kept saying go and dance with Romee. Jeez, then all the girls around thought I was gay too. I just let it slide and tried to look interested in girls but they kept thrusting themselves on me.

Then on the way back to the hotel we had to walk down the huge hill in darkness. He was holding phone as a light and then put his arm around me. I thought ‘just let it slide…’ everyone in front was doing it…

But then I rememebered they were all gay.

He also rubbed his thumb on my neck. Oh wel, I suppossed I made his day, but I really must sort that ‘gadar’ out. I should have sussed it when I tapped my number in his phone and he had a picture of himself topless as his phone wallpaper….

22nd May, The falls.

What Can I say? It looked just like vietnam. Or I suppose any kind of tropical river. Gets the 'thumbs up'.

Going to Boracay on Firday. Got free accomodation for the weekend. I need I holiday from traveling so I am going to sun it up in what my rough guide calls 'The finest examples of white sandy beaches in the world'. I'm looking forward to a couple of bars, Mojito's at sun down and staggering to bed after seeing the sunrise and giving it some on the beach front clubs. I also read there's an all you can eat english breakfast… Yea, I did say holiday from the travelling.

20th May, Du jour de Birthday

Funny old day – Completely different birthday experience. No pretentious bars, Blonde clones, or pink champers…

We (and when I say we I mean Kids!) played various kids games in the tiny alley way outside the house. Musical chairs was a personal favourite. Did that 'whack the pot blindfolded' game – I don't know the proper name. All the kids obviously didn't have the might! I gave it some, only two whacks and the heavens opened raining sweets'n'treats for all to enjoy. Got it all on digital so I can relive my glorious victory…

After that about 30 gummies came to the house, managed to squeeze them all in. 10 minutes later they all held a 'mini-mass' ceremony for my birthday which was very bizaar.

I was clutching my glass of white wine and then suddenly prayers began. Everyone instead of doing the classic hands together in front of the chest, they all did as what I can best describe as 'Jazz-hands' which I couldn't stop laughing to myself. Then realised I was doing the jazz-hands with still holding my wine. All I needed then was a cigarette in the other…

They busted out the Kareoke but fortunately for everyone I wasn't drunk enough. By the time I was the batteries had run out.

Ended the night, sitting in the alley with my cousin and some other randoms shouting along to acoustic songs played on the guitar. I pulled out my Harmonica blew a few notes – people would have paid money for this sort of entertainment!

So now (21st May) I'm kinda treating today like a recovery sunday. So after getting overly excited about seeing fried eggs for breakfast and eating way too much, I've just made a cup of coffee and figure after watching 'return of the king' it will be about 4pm – time for some shut eye.

Pagsanjan falls tommorow – where they filmed the last scenes in 'Apocalypse now'.

19th May, …From London to Berlin in every disco I’ve been in my heart is pumping for love…

Went to a hilarious gay pageant (Sagayla 2006). These 'gays' or should I say Queens to be more apt were probably better looking than the woman here! They basically all dress up n drag and really (and I mean really) camp it up!

I had a pink hanky draping from my back pocket in respect. Alas, no rose…

I've met these younger girls (who I think are distant cousins?) yesterday who have practically fallen in love with me. Now i'm not one to lead someone on but she thinks I don't understand tagalog but I know. I gave her a hug as you would in the UK as she going away to Manilla, maybe that was a mistake. As the whole 'courting' thing here works completely differently they probably think I like her too!  (she goes to college in the US) but it just makes such a change not talking to kids or real old gummies trying to fudge my tagalog/english to speak.

More bloody mos bites – it just feels so good to scratch…